Your King speaks

As I sit here on my throne, I imagine I am a King. The King. Your King.

I imagine I am the Ruler of the Interweb, the Master of the Blogesphere.

I like to think that many will come to me with their questions and disputes. I will be the new Yahoo Answers. I will reign with a heavy hand, passing out judgements, swift and fair. My whims, throwaway comments, will become Internet protocol and by-laws. Any who defy me will be defamed and have their routers given to one of my less privaleged supporters.

I dream of this, and in my head I am loved and respected by many. My life has a purpose. I am not existing merely to exist. People rely on me and listen to what I say. It is a busy life, but also a good life.

But then I finish. I wipe my bum. I pull up my trousers and return to shooting teenage boys in the face on a virtual war game.

But not without washing my hands first. I always wash my hands.