Friday, August 6, 2010


I have this unnatural hatred for one specific style of footwear... Uggs.

Seriously now, it baffles me why girls think they look good, and why nearly every woman on the planet owns a pair. The only women that don't own a pair are those unfortunate enough to be amputees... But then they get to go halves on a pair with their amputee friend they met at the Amputee Club (yes, this post has been extensively researched).

In my lifetime, I have seen probably 4 people that looked good in a pair of Uggs. They were all wearing skin tight leggings and had incredible arses and I never actually looked at their feet. This may have contributed to me not hating the fact they were wearing Uggs.

At best, when worn with baggy jeans, the shapeless toe poking out from under the hem of the trousers looks like the wearer has strapped a Cornish pasty to each foot. At worse, when paired with leggings or skinny jeans, their legs look like a golf club... a 5 wood if we are being precise, and why wouldn't we be?

These crazy women seem to think that Uggs are accetable summer wear, despite being made of lambs wool. You see them walking around wearing nice attractive summer clothes with these filthy, smelly articles of puke-inducing fashion horrors on their feet... and yes, I am capable of commenting on fashion, I've been in an A&F shop once.

Then there is the price. Women will spend over £100 for a pair of chav slippers that make them look like a twat. The mind boggles.

But worse than all of this... The final straw that broke this camels back (and I mean patience), is when you see a nobber like this.

No, men. Just no!

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